The bus trip would end up being one big exposure response prevention (ERP,) a behavioral therapy that has one exposing oneself to the very fears that crippled them.
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I’ve been telling myself that when our family finally gets on the bus, then… THEN, I’ll stop and connect more with my surroundings and live in the spirit of wide wonder. However, I’ve been noticing more often that it’s easier for me to push living in the moment to the side as though completing a to-do list has a higher pay off than participating in life. It doesn’t matter how much I actually have to do. Planning a large-scale American tour or cleaning the bathroom carry the same amount of weight in my mind.
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After a few minutes the driver speaks. “What’s anxiety?”
I think about it for a moment. “Well, for me, when I’m experiencing it, it feels like a constant motor running within. When I’m anxious, my fear dictates everything. It feels like I am waiting for something really bad to happen, even if there is no real danger in sight. You know?”
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